Feb 29, 2000...

...was the happiest day of my life.

In New Orleans my wife and I got married at the New Orleans Wedding Chapel.

We have had three wonderful married years together in addition to the three years that we knew each other previously, and every day I find that every supposedly wrong step that we have taken has brought us closer together.

If we had listened to our friends instead of listening to our hearts, all of those stupid games that couples play would've ended our relationship very quickly. The time, the distance, the second-guessing...Everyone thinks that they KNOW the right moves as if there's some stupid playbook and all you need to do is call the right play to succeed.

Love can be hard, but it can also be easy, so very easy, when you are on the right road. If it's the right road, you just know it.

And we know that we are on the right road.

For my wife: It was very easy to love you. The road will always be ours.

But what of your teeny brain Mr. Landry?

I just couldn't resist posting about yet another stupid politician...

QUEBEC (CP) - An unflappable Premier Bernard Landry refused to apologize Wednesday for saying poor people should manage to feed their children because even birds - with their tiny brains - can do it.

Landry admitted he made the comment during a private meeting with officials from poverty groups, women's groups and advocates for single-parent families last Friday. However, he said the remarks were misinterpreted and he expressed shock that some people were offended. "I am surprised, I am disappointed and I regret that comments aimed at comforting the least fortunate, were interpreted to the contrary," Landry told reporters.

"It was a deep feeling which urged me to say I don't understand how in a society advanced like Quebec, rich like Quebec, children can go hungry."

Also, Landry defended comparing people with birds.

"If it's true with birds, imagine how true it could be with mankind (that all parents feed their young)," he said Wednesday.

"It's natural to assume responsibility for children and feed them. If it's not done, there's a problem. And the problem can be one of society, or of money."

The remark was a lead story on all Quebec newscasts and political opponents immediately seized on it, with one opposition critic calling the premier a "bird brain."

Last Friday, Landry told a private gathering of social activists he didn't understand why many Quebec schoolchildren go to class hungry.

"If birds, with the brains they have, feed their young in the morning, how is it that there are still people who don't feed their children," Landry was quoted as saying in a government transcript released Wednesday.

Landry illustrated his point by holding up his thumb and forefinger to represent the tiny size of a bird's brain, witnesses said.

Landry said nobody in the room complained when he made the remarks last Friday.

But witnesses said the comments sparked an immediate reaction.

"It was an outrage to hear that sentence," said Nicole Jette, an anti-poverty activist who was at the 90-minute meeting.

"It confirms the work we still have to do about people's mentality regarding the poor.

"I don't think the premier consciously wanted to attack poor people - but that's what's serious. There's a lack of understanding."

Another witness said the premier was confronted immediately.

"I reacted right there," said Sylvie Levesque, head of a federation of single-parent families.

"During the meeting, we told him we thought it was inconceivable what he said."

Landry's opponents immediately jumped on the remarks, with Liberal Leader Jean Charest demanding an apology.

"I think it's deplorable," Charest told reporters in Montreal.

"Families deserve better from someone who's premier of Quebec."

Another critic said Landry is isolated from reality in the skyscraper that serves as his official residence.

"From atop the Price building, I can understand if he sees more birds than people living on the sidewalk," said Francois Corriveau, a member of the Action democratique du Quebec.

"It's a lack of respect for poor people. I think he had a bird brain."

Diet Evil

Wonder what it would be if I answered truthfully...

I have fooled them all again!!! [insert evil laugh!]

How evil are you?

New Title Graphic

The little guy up top left is Baron Sam von Schamm, star of the Warner Bros cartoon The Dumb Patrol. Everyone who says the cartoon actually starred Bugs Bunny and that Sam was only the nemesis/comic relief can leave RIGHT NOW!

Still here?

Good.

This is one of my all time favourite Warner Bros. cartoons. Despite Yosemite Sam's obviously American accent he epitomized the "Raging Kraut" that lived within all of my European-born relatives - my Oma and Opa, my father and especially my mother, who while technically not born in Germany, could go from zero to foaming-at-the-mouth rage in as little as thirty seconds...Many times when I was getting the crap kicked out of me at school I was more afraid of the punishment my mother would come up with if my clothes were ripped or had blood on them (mine, the other kid's - it was all the same to her)

It was Sam that actually inspired the name of this site. He is my alter-ego, and it is he who is writing here, not his mild-mannered disguise who lives his days outside of the world wide web. Bear that in mind as you read further.

Site Converted to MT 2.62

After about a week using Blogger I've decided to rebuild the site using Moveable Type 2.62. I've learned a helluva lot more about cgi scripts than I wanted to, however I'm happy to report the patient has survived. Now to figure out how to import my previous entries (if I want to keep them that is...)

Courage

Courage is an essay by Bill Whittle. It suceeds in defining the undefinable.

It's a long piece (make sure that you've nowhere to go and nothing to do) that pays off like little else does.

If the link has changed since my post, you can find this essay in his archives on February 15th, 2003.

More Spam Doing Harm

Received this in my inbox today from a good friend in British Columbia:

TODAY we are at a point of imbalance in the world and are moving toward
what may be the beginning of a THIRD WORLD WAR. If you are against this
possibility, the UN is gathering signatures in an effort to avoid a tragic world event. Please COPY (rather than Forward) this e-mail in a new message, sign at the end of the list, and send it to all the people whom you know.

If you receive this list with more than 500 names signed, please send a copy of the message to usa@un.int president@whitehouse.gov.

Even if you decide not to sign, please consider forwarding the petition on
instead of eliminating it.

My response is printed below verbatim

Hi __________,

While I wouldn't presume to debate politics with you (everyone is entitled
to their own opinion) I happen to think that this particular item is spam.
There is no specific resolution in this petition. Say no to WW3? Who
wouldn't? But there is no specific point to this petition.

How do we say no to WW3? Which side is this petition advocating? And the
UN is collecting entries for what purpose? What would signatures do in this
situation? See what I mean? People put their names to things too quickly,
I think.

I will write later on a more social note, but right now this pro-war,
anti-war stuff has got me steamed (no not at you, _______!)

If you want to know my position on this you can ask and I'll send you
another email detailing it (I won't presumptuously think that you care at
this moment)

My quick response: Bush is an idiot (OPINION) but on Sadaam he is right
(OPINION). Sadaam is evil (OPINION). Sadaam has used chemical weapons on
Iranians (FACT) and on the Kurds (FACT). Sadaam has been trying to get his
hands on nasty weapons for the last 10 years (FACT) and needs to be stopped
(MY OPINION as well as others).

Do you see anyone advocating disarming North Korea? NO. Why? Because they have the Nukes that make them unassailable, the nukes (or bio or chem) that Sadaam wants. WMD=power and we can't wait for more North Korea's to spring up.

The US supported him early against Iran (FACT) which was stupid (OPINION)
but between 2 lousy choices they made their deal with the lessor of 2 evils
(the Iranian brand of Islamic fundamentalism would destroy all infidels
without thinking and were threatening to over-run the region in the early
80's) and now they have a big mess which they (along with the rest of the
world) have to clean up.

I was quite amused by the pictures of protesters holding up signs saying
"Peace In Our Time" because they were obviously ignorant of the historical
context. Those words were spoken by Neville Chamberlain just before Hitler
made him bend over by taking Poland after he'd told the world that he and
Hitler had come to "an agreement." I am always amazed at how consistently
history repeats itself.

Peace has a price and that price is blood. The only thing Sadaam will
understand is a loaded gun pointed in his face.

Sorry to get all heavy on you, but I've needed to vent on this for awhile
now....

Take care.

My friend then emailed me back that she had just "passed it on" as she thought it might do "some" good. I didn't feel like pointing out the fact that just passing this note on with your name on it IS SUPPORTING THE POSITION of the article. Somebody will take this and say that these people SUPPORT OUR POSITION.

Or at the very least their names and addresses will be harvested by the true evil in this world: Marketers.

Putting your name on a document should mean something dammit!

On Edge

So I'm driving (well crawling, actually) along the 401 to work, wishing that I had actually woke up the 20 minutes earlier required for me to get to the Go Train when I hear this on 680 news about the Korean subway. I ponder the fact that a determined nut-job can do that much damage in this day of tightened security and international breath-holding...Maybe because it happened in South Korea, maybe they didn't think they were targets - not that awareness would do them much good: it seems that this is a random, untargeted attack by a lunatic.

The idiot in front of me driving the black-tinted Buick Rendezvous has yet to decide what lane he actually wants to be in. I don't think he's ever seen snow before by the way he's not getting into the bare grooves on the highway between the unplowed snow.

The radio then blurbs about Toronto's Subway being closed because of a chlorine smell

My brain is already thinking that I would've been in that part of the subway if I had made the train earlier. I'm already racing ahead to the possibility of now it being "our turn" and that my oversleeping is a "lucky break" that I'll tell in the stories afterward...Then it turns out to be nothing - subway service is returned and thousands of delayed commuters make their way as best they can through the wet white snow that blankets the city...Normality restored.

Or is it? Not once was I "scared" - there wasn't any indication that this was in fact an attack, and the Canadian media has not been as relentless in their coverage of Code Orange alerts. What's bugging me is the fact that something as innocuous as a gas leak can make the equation

Subway Gas Leak = Terrorist Attack

come to my mind so quickly. It makes me think that the terrorists have in fact accomplished their goal. They wanted us to know they can get to us, any time anywhere, and it could be totally random. We are touchable. And we know it.

Striking Now Prevents Catastrophe later...

To my loyal fans (all 2 of you):

Sorry about the time between postings - Stupid Accounting exams are getting in the way of my blog creativity!

Something has been bugging me for the past couple of months now:

A summary of what seems to be going on is as follows:

1. The United States is fighting a war against al-Qaeda in response to terrorist attacks made on New York and the Pentagon
2. The United States is threatening to invade Iraq to disarm the current regime (ie Sadaam Hussein) of suspected Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD)

1 does not equal 2.

The logic of many anti-war protests seems to be that if Iraq has no connection to al-Qaeda, then there is no reason to go bugging Sadaam. Let sleeping dogs lie. That seemed to be the stategy the US pursued in the 90's (thank you President Clinton) Sadaam even became a defanged caracature of himself (I'm thinking Hot Shots, South Park and Seinfeld here) rather than the evil bastard that used chemical weapons quite cheerfully in the Iran-Iraq war and on the Kurds in the north of Iraq.

The scary part is that I don't think anyone (even the most bleeding-heart) doubts that Sadaam is up to no good- he's had 12 years since Desert Storm to brew up as much mischief as he can (again thank you Neville Chamberlain sorry Bill Clinton) He needs removing.

The reason to do it now has nothing to do with al-Qaeda. With suspected WMD's but as yet no major capability to deliver them the world has an opportunity to stop Iraq now, whereas would could anyone even consider stopping North Korea now? Iraq isn't North Korea as many are fond of saying- but they could be; unless the world acts now.

Maybe the Government Can Save Us!

Can Tim's stay Canadian?

Oh, Good God!

Oooh shame on Tim Horton's for wanting to expand and be successful in the American market! Naughty Canadians aspiring to be a greater company than they should be, because of course we know that Canadian companies are second-rate and need protection from the big nasty beast next door! Stay home where it's safe! Grrrrr!

But McLean now worries the company's decision to expand south and roast its coffee beans in the U.S. will strip Tim Hortons of the things that made it distinctly Canadian.

-- No McLean's now worried that she's lost money because she thought she'd automatically pick up the U.S. business as well...Why would Tim's want the hassle of shipping coffee across the border when you can roast it and distribute it more efficiently there without border hassles...

Wendy's announced that the U.S. division of Tim Hortons posted its first annual profit, and that Tim's now amounts to 30 to 35 per cent of Wendy's total revenue. Thanks to a menu that's evolved to include specialty coffees, bagels, sandwiches and soups, the Big Mac is under attack."

-- McDonald's has problems: the market for greaseburgers is saturated. People want something healthy: or at least something they can pretend is healthy - The can put a "Mc" in front of anything they want: "McPizza" "McSalad" "McSushi" - but it's been ingrained in us for a generation that McDonalds=Big Mac. People expect grease when you walk through the golden arches. They've spent billions over the years convincing us of this. Is it any wonder I can recite two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun without thinking twice about it? And now they're trying to sell me Veggie burgers? I don't think so...

It find it irritating that any time a "CANADIAN ICON" wants to establish itself south of the border and reach MORE customers, there's always some yokel who wants to circle the wagons and scream about the influence of the "BIG BAD AMERICANS" and how that will make the "CANADIAN ICON" less Canadian.

Is Wayne Gretzky less Canadian because he played the latter half of his career in L.A. St.Louis and New York?

Face it: The Canadian dream is all about making it big in the US (actor, sports, rock star etc.) and then coming home and lording it over the losers who said you'd never leave Moose Jaw, then jetting back to your massive house in Bel-Air (or wherever...)

There are PLENTY of Canadian companies that can do well in the US without abandoning the core values that made them good companies here.

The world is a much smaller place and we can't afford to hide behind "Canadian Content" rules forever...

On the Topic of two-face

BC Premier Campbell faces more charges

When this guy was in opposition he was a straight-shooter (in public, of course - who knows what'll come up now that the press will be digging?) always yelling at NDP MLA's to resign at the merest whiff of impropriety, that they were compromised by their personal misconducts.

An MLA could maybe get away with this, but not a Premier

Quit.
Now.

While your just a drunk and not a total laughingstock/hippocrite, which is where you're headed.

Sauerkraut

From Merriam-Webster online

Main Entry: sau·er·kraut
Pronunciation: 'sau(-&)r-"kraut
Function: noun
Etymology: German, from sauer sour + Kraut greens
Date: 1617
: cabbage cut fine and fermented in a brine made of its own juice with salt

Main Entry: kraut
Pronunciation: 'kraut
Function: noun
Etymology: German, cabbage, from Old High German krut
Date: 1855
1 : SAUERKRAUT
2 often capitalized, usually disparaging : GERMAN

If only it were that simple. Much like Gollum in Lord of the Rings who both loved and hated his "precious" ring, I both hate and love sauerkraut. Like many first-generation Canadians born of European parents, I had "ethnic" (in my case, German) food stuffed down my throat from as early as I could remember. I would come home from school and see that giant pot steaming away knowing --KNOWING!! -- that I'd be eating that stuff for at least two weeks...

And now after writing this I find I'm incredibly hungry.

They're on Our Borders!

North Dakota Found to be Harboring Nuclear Missiles

I wonder how many slack-jawed yokels didn't "get it."

Glory Days...

We just saw Sittler's number being raised to the rafters of the Air Canada Centre before the Leafs-Canadiens game. The fact that number 27's wife didn't live to see this made my wife cry. She remembers all the same games I do from the 70's - Is there any question about why I love her? Ahhhhh, the glory days: Sittler, MacDonald, and Tiger Williams. I always cried my eyes out when we didn't win the Cup...

Photo Radar

From Today's Toronto Star: Police want photo radar brought back

I wasn't going to start off this blog with traffic rants. I've read many that have and will do a much better job of explaining the issues involved but I have to say something about this one:

Speed doesn't kill. Rapid Deceleration kills, usually when that rapid deceleration is connected to an object, like a wall, barrier or other cars. Stop using buzz-phrases.

Erratic, numb-skulled lane changes kill. People who multi-task cell-phone dialing, radio station switching, make-up applying and child abuse in the form of disciplining their little monsters all kill. Stupid arrogant pricks who boast about their superior alcohol tolerance kill. (Your last "kegger" was twenty years ago dipshit!) Soccer moms, in vehicles that are twice as high and three times as heavy as the one driven by the poor dumb bastard they've just crushed, kill. ("I just love that safe feeling that the Navigator gives me when I take little Johnny to camp")

Fast drivers have never scared me. Fast aggressive drivers who see me as their next potential "kill", kill. (Beating me to that last bit of open space that is my only hope of merging is such a triumph of your human spirit isn't it, Dickhead?) Cheap bastards with vehicles that were new before the first shuttle launch that have major body components held on with duct-tape scare me (they really don't care if you hit them)

The last time photo radar was implemented it was nothing more that a traffic-congesting cash-draining (to us, the driving public) nuisance. It was scrapped for a reason.

I'd much rather have red-light cameras, as those idiots deserve to be nailed to the wall...

Enemy of the environment

I drove to work today alone in my car. I was surrounded by others who were also alone in their cars. I played tag with 18-wheelers for a car-length of available space. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. Stop. GO GO GO! I called countless drivers countless names and made many silent mental death threats. My finger behaved itself.

Elapsed time door to desk at work: 45 minutes.

If I did it by transit: 1 hour, 30 minutes.

Time saved on 1 trip: 45 minutes
Time saved today: 1 hour 30 minutes
Time saved in a week: 7 hours 30 minutes
Time saved in a year: 17 days 8 hours

I want to take transit: but the train and subway are stealing the minutes, the hours, the days of my life.

The one thing you can't buy more of in this world is time.

{edited later}

Stupid Assumption

Yes, I know. It's a big assumption that I'll actually do something useful with that time. And I guess I could read...
.
.
.
Shut up.