Maybe the CBC ISN'T Evil...

In an attempt to actually get people to watch the CBC again, Canada's Liberal Party broadcaster is actually going to show a program I want to see: the new remade Doctor Who starring Christopher Eccleston who I remember best from the films Shallow Grave and 28 Days Later.

From what I understand of the new series, there won't be any Daleks...

Me Wants itsssss yesssss!

Damn Big TV

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I would never have to leave the house. The world would come to my room life-sized. Pornography would be life-sized.

Oh My God!

Nigella and Angelina would be life-sized...

Gotta go.

Ugly Feet

Finally got around to seeing Kill Bill Pt. 1 - must've been Greg's comment on this post - and all I've got to say is that I didn't realize how ugly her feet are! Say what you will about her eyes, face, body, what have you...but her feet are horrid: if they weren't stunt feet, of course.

Hopefully this doesn't get me in trouble with the Deadly Uma Foot Fetish Brigade...





If you haven't seen the film, when you do you'll know the scene I'm talking about.

Scotty

Final Journey

The first words I ever learned to read were the words "Star Trek" in the TV guide when I was three. In the pre-remote control days of the early 1970's I was the family remote control. I had no problem with this task because I'd absolutely refuse to change the channel if Star Trek came on. My family got used to it.

My favourite scene of the series is when Scotty drinks a hostile alien under the table, sacrificing his prized bottles of alcohol, promptly passing out after he'd won the contest.

I hope that James Doohan spends the rest of his retirement in comfort. He deserves it for all that he's given to us.

Everybody! A-S-S-H-O-L-E!

I AM 81% ASSHOLE/BITCH! I am one of those people that love to hear the sound of their voice. That and my lousy attitude make for a mixture as toxic next-day-mexican-dinner-ass-drip. Take the ASSHOLE/BITCH test at Fuali.com

from those pussies, the Flea and my darlin' Rue

Movie review hints

Ha! I knew it!

Alien vs Predator sucks according to the reviewers. How did I know it would suck?

Well let's start with the fact that we've already seen enough of both species in the four Alien films and the two Predator films. Now they have to share screen time? Not enough individual time for either franchise fan to be satisfied. That's just my opinion, of course, as to why this movie would suck.

Reason number 2: Paul W.S. Anderson. The guy behind the crap that was Resident Evil. C'mon, Milla Jovovich in a tight red dress battling undead zombies. How the hell could he mess that up? BOR-RING! Then, I find he was the guy at the helm for Event Horizon, a film that had me going until the stupid ending, which threw away any pretense at suspense and instead went for a thriller ending, which made me want my 96 minutes back...

But the biggest clue was that there were no reviews out before its opening, which means the losers distributing the film knew it was a turkey, but didn't want that getting out before they could fleece the loyal fans of both genres for the opening weekend take. This is my number one indicator now.

They should rot in hell for destroying the Alien franchise. Predator? Hah, Danny Glover torched that franchise in 1990. Who really cared?

But since the movie's a hit, we'll probably get more crap like this thrown our way...

Staying out of the woods

In about 5 years from now, my daughters will be talking about going camping.

I won't go with them.

Not after seeing this movie.

No damn way am I going. And it'll take a whole damn bunch of convincing for me to let them go.

Director's Cuts must Stop!

Everytime Rue and I watch a movie with two possible interpretations (whacked-out weirdo is crazy and all fantastical things happen in the weirdo's mind OR sci-fi weirdness is actually happening and only the hero can see it and act to save the world) long interesting conversations spring forth about the movie and what it all means. Movies like 12 Monkeys, or more recently Donnie Darko nd Mulholland Drive.

So you can imagine my disappointment when the director of Donnie Darko puts out a directors cut that takes the mystery out of everything and explains the whole damn thing. (DON'T CLICK IF YOU DON'T WANT MAJOR SPOILAGE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.)

The whole director's cut, fleece extra fan-dollars trend must be stopped.

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Everbody but Rue can click the extended entry.

Somebody at CBC has got guts

I watched part of the documentary IN THE NAME OF GOD: SCENES FROM THE EXTREME Sunday night. I've set my PVR to record it later. It's scenes from Pakistan, Lebanon, Afghanistan and Palestine showing the indoctrination that is inflicted upon the young in these countries.

I don't know what I found more disturbing, children that appear to be 8 or 9 singing the praises of martyrdom and jihad, or the parents that talk of sacrificing their children to Allah for the fight against the "Great Satan" the way we would talk about going to the store for groceries.

Something refreshing about the film is the complete lack of voiceover editorializing that's so common today (I'm looking at YOU Michael Moore!) and the fact that the filmmaker just lets the camera roll...allowing us to make up our own minds about what we're seeing, which is some pretty shocking stuff.

If anyone needs some reminders about what caused 9-11 you'll see it here.

Cringe, Laugh, Repeat

That's the basic reaction the first time you watch The Office (which I've spotted at $Cdn 37 for both seasons at Costco.)

Of course, NBC, after making an American version of another BBC favourite - Coupling: which is banned by the Geneva convention as a weapon of mass defecation - is at it again, "Americanizing" The Office and again the result is familiar:



Truth be told I found the original BBC show to be a bit of a downer. What makes up for it is the sheer nastiness of the humour. All are skewered.



American major network sitcoms are light and frothy - no one who watches NBC wants to be reminded of real life anytime soon - so something that is this nasty would be better suited to cable, where it could find an audience to appreciate it. The very things that make the BBC version funny preclude it from being a "feel good" "laugh a minute" riot-fest that the U.S. version of Coupling should and could have been- nastiness, office politics, disappointments great and small, and in the end layoffs.

Highlight below for discussion of what would be in the American version that would ruin it. Don't if you don't want to spoil the BBC version that you eventually must see:

In the American version Tim would get the girl (a supermodel posing as a receptionist, because the Dawn in the original wouldn't be acceptable to audiences accustomed to Friends-level attractiveness), Gareth would get laid, and David Brent would be spared redundancy layoff after begging for his job and there'd be an ahhhh shucks huggy moment at the end, where all the characters would learn something valuable about themselves and I'd puke puke puke

NBC should just walk away while it can...