100 things about me

1. I have a large bald spot that is totally invisible to me without mirrors. It is plotting something.



2. My temper is quick but manageable. But do not cross my wife!



3. I've had two cars stolen from me, I got back the one I didn't want and lost forever the one I did want back.



4. Cats or Dogs. Dogs always and forever.



5. I always come into a trend too late: grunge, rap, dot-com stocks, [this entry?]



6. I've heard "I just really want to be friends" five times in my life



7. Only two of the girls who said "let's be friends" actually are friends



8. A best friend/room-mate from the past betrayed me twice over two different women.



9. I have been tempted to take revenge. It's a 50-50 chance that I WILL at some point (nervous yet, asshole?)



10. I cannot take a compliment without thinking that it may somehow contain a hidden insult.



11. My favourite all time car is the Porsche 959
    
    



12. I've lived 14 years in British Columbia and 18 years in Ontario.



13. I've been in 20 of the 50 US states...



14. I work for the Ontario government.



15. I don't speak German to my grandmother's never-ending shame.



16. My parents claimed at 2 years old that I "didn't want to learn German."



17. The truth is that by the time I showed up, my family had entirely switched to English: German wasn't in general usage and it would've been a pain to teach me.



18. I've never met either of my grandfathers (one died in 1942, the other was a mysoginistic alcoholic dick that my mother wouldn't allow near me: he might be dead, he might not. From the stories I've heard, I don't want him near my kids either.)



19. Nothing is sweeter than hearing my 1 year old daughter scream "Daddy!!" when I walk in the door...



20. I consider myself a feminist (non-radical) but am the bread-winner in a "traditional" one income family (at least until the kids are in school)



21. I've owned 4 volkswagens: 1 Jetta turbo-diesel, 2 GTI's and 1 Golf 1.8T (although the last one is the "family" car)



22. Favourite Book: Dune by Frank Herbert



23. Favourite SERIES of Books: The Aubrey/Maturin novels by Patrick O'Brian. You can smell the salt water and feel the characters age as they grow older at sea.



24. Favourite Drink: Bushmill's Irish Whiskey on ice.



25. I skipped the 5th grade.



26. When I was younger I acted slightly stupider than I was because I didn't want to get singled out and beaten up. The bullies just picked another reason to beat me up.



27. My brother is 16 years older than I am. We aren't as close as I'd like.



28. When I was 8 and wanted to play hockey, my Dad told me I'd have to skate 3 hours of laps a day for 6 months to strengthen my ankles. Suffice it to say that I never played hockey.



29. My father confessed that he didn't want to go to 5am practices, like he did with my much older brother (*bastard!*)



30. My younger nephew looks so much like me that my catch-phrase when this is pointed out is: "I never touched her, I was two thousand miles away!"



31. I never wanted to work in Accounting, yet that path has always brought me the most success.



32. Favourite Artsy Movie: Ran by Akira Kurosawa



33. Guilty pleasure movie: Victory with Michael Caine and Sylvester Stallone.



34. Last DVD rented: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets



35. Favourite Blog by someone not related by blood/marriage: A Small Victory. Go Michele!



36. Favourite Classical Composer: Beethoven. The ninth, baby!



37. I can't watch a sport for more than 15 minutes without getting bored.



38. At 8 I realized that both my Mother and my Grandmother (his mother) scared the beejeezus out of my Dad



39. My parents let my brother name me: he chose two actors from TV for my first and middle names - the shows were Ironside and The Saint



40. My current car is a '99 Ford Contour SVT that is two months away from being totally mine. 200HP, baby!
    
    



41. After a fight at school in the 3rd grade I had to go to the hospital due to internal swelling.



42. I'd been fighting two other kids and was losing until one of them kicked me in the balls.



43. I got so mad at this transgression of the rules that the look on my face scared one of my opponents into running away instantly.



44. The other I pounded so hard that afterward whenever I came within 20 feet of him he ran away to the teachers on the yard.



45. I didn't notice anything was wrong until that night when I realized the pain hadn't gone away.



46. My dad took a look, made a face I'd never seen before and rushed me to the hospital.



47. At the hospital I was more concerned about counting backward from 100 correctly than about the fact that they were gassing me to knock me out.



48. When I woke up in the hospital the next morning I thought my family had abandoned me.



49. When I was one month old my mother took me along when she and my father went sailing in a 15-foot dinghy



50. When I was four years old I could sail that 15-foot dinghy like a pro (with Dad's supervision, which I hated)



51. I got caught shop-lifting at 11. It was a Rubik's Cube (Looking back that's an embarassing thing to get caught shoplifting)



52. The detective that caught me scared the hell out of me so bad I was convinced until I was 16 that I still "had a record."



53. The department store chain closed down in the late 80's.



54. I was elated for weeks afterward thinking that my record would finally be cleared. Teenagers are stupid.



55. My first computer was an Apple IIc with a Roland DG dot-matrix printer that cost my parents approx $CDN 2,500



56. My parents bought it because I was staying late every night at school playing Ultima IV.



57. My English marks jumped from a C to an A+ because I wrote much better using a word processor.



58. I was no longer cheap with paper and didn't have to rewrite 1st and 2nd drafts (Gawd I hated rewriting perfectly good sentences just to show the English teacher that this was in fact my work...)



59. At high school graduation I was top student in English and English Literature, thanks to my Apple IIc.



60. Because of my improved marks, I earned a $2,000 scholarship. Thank you Apple IIc
    
    
61. I still have it in the garage. I can't throw it away and don't know if it still works.



62. I have many things I can't throw away.



63. My favourite movie from the '80's was Wall Street -except that sad part at the end when Michael Douglas lost all that money and got framed by that sneaky Charlie Sheen



64. I wanted to be a broker because of that movie.



65. I was a broker for a short time in 2001



66. I hated being a broker. (The schmoozing, the lying, the whining of clients who don't take your advice; the wrath of those that do - that and a stock market crash drove me back to Accounting)



67. I've never been outside the US or Canada. I have no urge to travel.



68. Does violence solve anything? Sometimes and sometimes it's unavoidable so you have to be prepared for it.



69. Ever been robbed? No, but I was extorted once by two angry-looking Native men outside a strip-club in Vancouver's east-side.



70. I was the only under-age member of a UBC pub-crawl at the time that had gotten carded and thrown out.



71. They got my second last 2-dollar bill (when Canada still HAD 2-dollar bills.) I'd hidden bus change (last 2-dollar bill) in my shoe and left all bank/credit cards at home (good thing, too!)
    
    -Their unique approach was:
    1st native guy: "Gimme your cigarettes."
    Me: "I don't have any cigarettes"
    1st native guy: "Maybe my friend wants to party with you if you don't give us something..."
    2nd native guy: [big toothless grin]
    Me: "Let's see what I've got..."



72. I hate it when I see living examples of stereotypes that reinforce the negative image I'm arguing against at the moment (drunk natives, materialistic Jews, "flaming" homosexuals, "mobbed-up" Italians, nazified-Germans, welfare-immigrants, drunken/stoned homeless people, violent Jew-hating Muslims etc.) because they totally deflate any argument I'm making AGAINST the stereotype and sometimes make ME doubt my conviction...



73. My father will not work for Germans even though he himself is German (he never explained why, just looked at me like I was stupid for asking...)



74. I have relatives who were members of the Nazi-party in Germany. They explained that "everyone" was a member who was of any social standing in Germany, and that they didn't really agree with the whole "kill every Jew in the world thing." These are invariably the same relatives that complain about how "cheap" and "greedy" the Jews are. My answer is "Sorry, but I think you lost that war. Move on."



75. I have found most of my friends wives/girlfriends attractive. I'll leave your dirty little minds to ask whatever questions you want to ask...



76. Canadian politics time: Liberal, Conservative, NDP, or ReformAlliance? Not a fuckin' clue at the moment, however I would NEVER vote NDP (admire -but don't agree with- their convictions, howls of derisive laughter at their inability to base any policies in "the real world") am leaning towards "anybody but Chretien" and am waiting for some other party to make the least bit of sense (looking at you, Conservatives and Reform) so that I can at least have someone to vote for, rather than abstaining as I did last time...



77. American politics time: Democrat or Republican: grrrrrr, tough one. Can I be Republican and still hate Bush? Can I be Democrat and still hate the anti-war protesters who can't form a proactive alternative that the Democrats seem to have embraced as "their people?" Do the parties even represent their traditional viewpoints any more? (Clinton was way more fiscally conservative than Bush, who has no problem spending a lot of money they don't have...) Does it matter considering I'm Canadian?



78. I AM CANADIAN! My wife is American. My daughter is whatever she wants to be: that's the legacy of both countries.



79. Do you actually enjoy sauerkraut? Yes, especially the way my Italian-American wife cooks it.



80. At 27 I realized that my 86-year old Grandmother scared the beejeezus out of me too!



81. Biggest regret: not telling my mother that I loved her one more time before she died and that she never got to meet my beautiful wife and daughter...



82. Favourite Shakespearian sonnet: Sonnet # CXVI "Let me not to the marriage of true minds/admit impediments." Used that at a wedding where I was best man and brought the house down...And left with the sexy young thing that became my wife in 2000...



83. I drink 4 full mugs, not cups, mugs, of coffee each and every day. And if you prevent me from getting my full caffeine fix you dirty little...



84. My favourite Christmas movie is the 1951 version of A Christmas Carol starring Alistair Sim. In black and white. Lousy stinkin' colourizin' Ted Turner...



85. One summer I had a job treeplanting. I lasted 3 weeks before I realized that I hadn't got on with a good company. They in fact tried to screw us out of our wages at the end of the season. I sicked the Labour Relations board on their asses...



86. In 1996 me and my friend Chris went to New York City and stood atop the twin towers on a sunny October afternoon.



87. In 2001 I stared at the TV screen as those very same twin towers tore themselves to shreds and collapsed under their own weight as they burned. In Toronto it was wondered if those planes being turned away from American airspace and headed for Canada might not be carrying more of the same for us. Sometimes I think that maybe those towers might be still standing if I went to New York, that this was all some movie...



88. My mom's favourite sayings that I still hear in my head more than 10 years after her death:
    - You can't go to jail for what you're thinking
    - You want to cry? I'll GIVE you something to cry about!



89. I hate McDonald's burgers...And Burger King's. I love Harvey's and Wendy's, but the best I've EVER had is Lick's Burgers



90. My favourite snack spot of all time is Benny's Bagels in Vancouver, BC. If I could time travel back to 1989, before they renovated and were just a little tiny spot on Broadway it'd be so perfect...at 3 am during exams in December, with the same hipster-doofus behind the counter asking if we'd like to "partake fluidly" - ie. do we want any coffee...



91. I am worried my career is at a standstill



92. I am concerned that at some point my daughter won't want to hang around with us anymore (she's only 17 months, talk about an irrational fear!)



93. The first concert I went to was U2 at BC Place Stadium in Vancouver in 1987. That's just before the extreme pretentiousness had set in.



94. I am nearsighted in one eye, farsighted in the other. Every optometrist has made some stupid crack about this since I started wearing glasses. Optometrists must lead such lonely lives...



95. I am terribly impulsive when it comes to big-ticket life changing decisions (jobs, moves, house ownership etc.) yet agonize with analysis paralysis over books, CDs, the right grocery brand choices etc.



96. Star Wars or Star Trek? Star Trek, though it has to be the original series- no political correct non-interference in genocidal developing cultures bullshit as spouted by Next Generation and all that followed. And I LOATHE Enterprise...



97. My last name is German, but for some reason has been mistaken for Arabic. I once had a job interview where they had me waiting for 20 minutes because they were "waiting for someone who looked Middle-Eastern" to show up while I was waiting in the reception area the whole time, even though I'd told the receptionist who I was...



98. I have always disliked Michael Jackson, unlike all my friends that bought Thriller, then hated him saying they never bought that album, then bought Bad, then hated him saying that they never bought the album, on and on and on...I didn't like him then, I don't like him now, however give the poor freak a break; even I think the press is roasting him too much these days...



99. I am not religious, but do believe in something greater than what we know right now...The Force will be with you, always...[sorry, just had to throw that in somewhere...]



100. Unlike many other people I know, I am a happy man...