Excuses...

I'll so offend, to make offence a skill;
Redeeming time when men think least I will.

The above is a favourite quote of a friend of mine. He trots it out whenever anyone starts talking about his "wasted potential." I started thinking about this the other day for no particular reason. The Shakespeare buffs will recognize it from Henry IV part I, when Prince Hal was still a man behaving badly, but with the seeds of his redemption and future greatness already planted.

My friend's redemption (ie. getting off of his ass and actually moving forward with something, anything of note) is nowhere to be seen. Ten years from now, he will still be doing what he's doing now: subsisting and marking time until the day he dies. The above quote is a crutch that doesn't mean anything because my friend has no plan for redemption.

There are no wheels, there is no motion!
- Baboo Bhat, Seinfeld

But this isn't about him. It's about me.

Wednesday Dinner chat

The scene: The kitchen. Centre of the Kraut household. It's just after dinner and Rue is perusing the 'net while princess Boo-Boo the first is busy scribbling with her crayons in her high-chair. Ray (the Kraut) is holding a crying 3-week old Brenna as they all sit around the too-small kitchen table...

Ray (holding Brenna): ya know, if I had tits I could help with her a lot more...

Rue (smiles): If you had tits a lot more of your guy friends would show up more often.

Ray: If I was a woman, we'd be a damn hot lesbian couple...

Rue: If you were a woman we could pick up ANYBODY by offering a threesome!

Ray: Hmmmmmm...

Rue: Hmmmmmm...

Brenna: Waaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!

I was just talking about this earlier!

from the IMDB:



Now if this were thirty years ago and he were snubbing the franchise that Sean Connery built I would say that Mr. Owen's getting a bit too big for his britches...but, in retrospect, the Bond franchise is not what it once was.

After a good start to the Brosnan era with Goldeneye (one of my favourites of "new-era" Bond. Sean Bean uber-cool as the villian and Famke Jannsen killing guys with her thighs; HER THIGHS!) the last ones have been rather stupid (Denise Richards as a nukular scientist for crying out loud!) and I haven't even bothered to go to the theatres for the last two outings: I even passed it by at the rental counter, opting for The Transporter instead...

Come to think of it. Why are there more Bond movies? Aside from the commercial product placement opportunities hasn't every possible permutation of the Bond film been made by now?

I think for me the franchise ended as soon as the super-ENGLISH spy began driving a German car and drinking pseudo-vodka in his martinis...

The REAL James Bond

would

not

drink

Smirnoff!

But where do all the calculators go?

It appears that my Palm Vx may be headed to silicon heaven (no that has nothing to do with proximity to Pamela Anderson!) as it will not power up despite repeated attempts.

For you Red Dwarf fans out there...



I was about to go on about whether we control our devices or whether our devices control us (I freak out in the morning if I can't find my Nokia cell phone and my Palm Vx. I've actually left my glasses behind by mistake and not noticed, but have turned around and gone home to retrieve my handy Palm Vx and been late for work...) but find myself saddened that my little buddy's not powering up...

Excuse me for a minute... [sobs]

Elemental, Dear Watson

Arsenic! You're one of those "toxic"
people Oprah and Dr. Phil warn us about. You
lie, cheat, and steal your way to the top with
no remorse. You like to watch people fight, and
will get people to do it in a pinch if no one's
fighting already. Unlike those uncouth
Plutoniums, you don't need to break the law
when dealing with enemies; that's what gossip
and blackmail's for! You'd even steal from your
momma! You bastard!


What Element (heh, heh...) Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Gossip and Blackmail! The rapier and main-gauche of today's society...

Buwahahahaha!!!

via the Flea

Is there such a thing as Blog-narcissism?

I find myself gazing at my blog full of wonder, thinking what if I changed that greenish background to be slightly more yellow? What about my font? Is it cool enough for me?

And I won't tell you how many different title graphics I've cycled through in the last five days.

And the funny thing is that all of this decorating has come at the expense of any good entries that I might've put out in the time it took me to figure out the most rudimentary Photoshop commands...

Style over substance indeed! Oh well, back to looking for things that piss me off...

Ordered my BMW Films DVD!

Ever see the short films at www.BMWfilms.com?

Well the general idea is that Clive Owen (who IMHO should replace Brosnan as Bond) takes on different jobs as a driver and shows off the capabilities of several shiny new BMW's while fighting the good fight in each episode. I've seen these films (they're available for download at the site) several times and have always been impressed by the quality of each short.

BMW's done a smart thing and have put all the films together on a DVD which I just ordered. I WANT to see these films on my Sony Vega! The only thing I was charged was $7.75 for shipping and handling. A Great Deal for great films!

A lot better than the so-called "action" movies being put out these days...

Anticipation

I remember looking forward to Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me and being disappointed when I finally saw it. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery had played on video every sunday morning at our apartment (when the wife wasn't the wife, just the live-in girlfriend that fed me...) and stayed fresh a LONG time...The second movie felt forced and didn't have the same heart as the first one. It seemed to be a collection of one-off gags that never seemed to gel.

I left the theatre feeling cheated somehow.

I remember downloading the trailer to Phantom Menace, thinking that there was NO WAY this movie could fail: Liam Neeson, Ewan MacGregor, AND Natalie Portman? This was going to be fan-friggin'-tastic!

The Flea has moved

Ghost of a Flea has a new home. Go say hello.

Hopefully the archives will move over too!

Yet another site moving onto Moveable Type. 'tis a stampede!

More reasons to go for sushi...

Breast cancer risk nearly halved by frequent miso soup intake



MMMM. Miso Soup.



Sorry. Even that unappetizing description can't knock the remembered smell of good miso soup out of my nose right now...



Yeah...That's right. I'll eat all that miso soup to save my prostate!



There's always some #$@*ing catch isn't there!? I'll just pretend I didn't read that part...