I'll so offend, to make offence a skill; Redeeming time when men think least I will.
The above is a favourite quote of a friend of mine. He trots it out whenever anyone starts talking about his "wasted potential." I started thinking about this the other day for no particular reason. The Shakespeare buffs will recognize it from Henry IV part I, when Prince Hal was still a man behaving badly, but with the seeds of his redemption and future greatness already planted.
My friend's redemption (ie. getting off of his ass and actually moving forward with something, anything of note) is nowhere to be seen. Ten years from now, he will still be doing what he's doing now: subsisting and marking time until the day he dies. The above quote is a crutch that doesn't mean anything because my friend has no plan for redemption.
There are no wheels, there is no motion!
- Baboo Bhat, Seinfeld
The scene: The kitchen. Centre of the Kraut household. It's just after dinner and Rue is perusing the 'net while princess Boo-Boo the first is busy scribbling with her crayons in her high-chair. Ray (the Kraut) is holding a crying 3-week old Brenna as they all sit around the too-small kitchen table...
Ray (holding Brenna): ya know, if I had tits I could help with her a lot more...
Rue (smiles): If you had tits a lot more of your guy friends would show up more often.
Ray: If I was a woman, we'd be a damn hot lesbian couple...
Rue: If you were a woman we could pick up ANYBODY by offering a threesome!
James Bond contender Clive Owen has snubbed the legendary franchise - by dismissing it as unchallenging. The British hunk is reported to be a frontrunner to replace departing 007 Pierce Brosnan when he hands over the superspy role after the next film. However, Gosford Park star Owen is nonplussed about the prospect of being the world's most famous hero - in fact, he doesn't want the job. According to British tabloid The Daily Express, he told a pal, "I think it's too formulaic, too tried and tested and a little past it's sell by date. I would not consider it to be a challenge. I've just come back from Los Angeles where I had a meeting with Francis Ford Coppola who wants to cast me in an exciting new project, which will be Bond-like but more challenging and relevant today. I'm really excited about it."
Now if this were thirty years ago and he were snubbing the franchise that Sean Connery built I would say that Mr. Owen's getting a bit too big for his britches...but, in retrospect, the Bond franchise is not what it once was.
After a good start to the Brosnan era with Goldeneye (one of my favourites of "new-era" Bond. Sean Bean uber-cool as the villian and Famke Jannsen killing guys with her thighs; HER THIGHS!) the last ones have been rather stupid (Denise Richards as a nukular scientist for crying out loud!) and I haven't even bothered to go to the theatres for the last two outings: I even passed it by at the rental counter, opting for The Transporter instead...
Come to think of it. Why are there more Bond movies? Aside from the commercial product placement opportunities hasn't every possible permutation of the Bond film been made by now?
I think for me the franchise ended as soon as the super-ENGLISH spy began driving a German car and drinking pseudo-vodka in his martinis...
It appears that my Palm Vx may be headed to silicon heaven (no that has nothing to do with proximity to Pamela Anderson!) as it will not power up despite repeated attempts.
Kryten: Oh, it's not the end for me, sir, it's just the beginning. I have served my human masters, now I can look forward to my reward in silicon heaven.
Lister: [Stunned pause.] Silicon WHAT?
Kryten: Surely you've heard of silicon heaven?
Lister: Has it got anything to do with being stuck opposite Bridgette Nielsen in a packed lift?
Kryten: It's the electronic afterlife! It's the gathering place for the souls of all electonic equipment. Robots, calculators, toasters, hairdryers, it's our final resting place.
Lister: I don't mean to say anything out of place here, Kryten, but that is completely whacko Jacko. There is no such thing as 'Silicon Heaven'.
Kryten: Then where do all the calculators go?
Lister: They don't go anywhere! They just die.
Kryten: Surely you believe that God is in all things? Aren't you a pantheist?
Lister: Yeah, but I just don't think it applies to kitchen utensils. I'm not a FRYING pantheist! Machines do not have souls. Computers and calculators do not have an afterlife. You don't get hairdryers with tiny little wings, sitting on clouds and playing harps!
I was about to go on about whether we control our devices or whether our devices control us (I freak out in the morning if I can't find my Nokia cell phone and my Palm Vx. I've actually left my glasses behind by mistake and not noticed, but have turned around and gone home to retrieve my handy Palm Vx and been late for work...) but find myself saddened that my little buddy's not powering up...
Arsenic! You're one of those "toxic" people Oprah and Dr. Phil warn us about. You lie, cheat, and steal your way to the top with no remorse. You like to watch people fight, and will get people to do it in a pinch if no one's fighting already. Unlike those uncouth Plutoniums, you don't need to break the law when dealing with enemies; that's what gossip and blackmail's for! You'd even steal from your momma! You bastard!
I find myself gazing at my blog full of wonder, thinking what if I changed that greenish background to be slightly more yellow? What about my font? Is it cool enough for me?
And I won't tell you how many different title graphics I've cycled through in the last five days.
And the funny thing is that all of this decorating has come at the expense of any good entries that I might've put out in the time it took me to figure out the most rudimentary Photoshop commands...
Style over substance indeed! Oh well, back to looking for things that piss me off...
Well the general idea is that Clive Owen (who IMHO should replace Brosnan as Bond) takes on different jobs as a driver and shows off the capabilities of several shiny new BMW's while fighting the good fight in each episode. I've seen these films (they're available for download at the site) several times and have always been impressed by the quality of each short.
BMW's done a smart thing and have put all the films together on a DVD which I just ordered. I WANT to see these films on my Sony Vega! The only thing I was charged was $7.75 for shipping and handling. A Great Deal for great films!
A lot better than the so-called "action" movies being put out these days...
I remember looking forward to Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me and being disappointed when I finally saw it. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery had played on video every sunday morning at our apartment (when the wife wasn't the wife, just the live-in girlfriend that fed me...) and stayed fresh a LONG time...The second movie felt forced and didn't have the same heart as the first one. It seemed to be a collection of one-off gags that never seemed to gel.
I guess that I side with the majority in that I was underwhelmed by this movie. It wasn't just Jar-Jar Binks. He was just a symptom of the problem. The movie was cold and digital, whereas Star Wars was all action, adventure and really wild things. It was bright and inviting...
I left the theatre feeling disappointed. As I did three years later after viewing Attack of the Clones...
I started to doubt that ANY movie could live up to my expectations...
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TOKYO (AFP) - The risk of developing breast cancer was nearly halved among Japanese women who had miso soup at least three times a day compared with those who had one or less bowl of the traditional soya-based dish per day.
MMMM. Miso Soup.
Miso is pureed steamed soybeans, mixed with salt and other fermenting agents.
Sorry. Even that unappetizing description can't knock the remembered smell of good miso soup out of my nose right now...
Researchers also believe frequent miso soup consumption may reduce the risk of prostate cancer (news - web sites) among men, Yamamoto said.
Yeah...That's right. I'll eat all that miso soup to save my prostate!
But Yamamoto cautioned that miso is no miracle food, as it contains a lot of salt, which can cause stomach cancer and high blood pressure, among other diseases.
There's always some #$@*ing catch isn't there!? I'll just pretend I didn't read that part...
[Rue] on 01/24/07 11:09 : With bated breath I await your return to blogging. [go]
[Rue] on 01/24/07 11:09 : With bated breath I await your return to blogging. [go]
[Rue] on 01/24/07 11:09 : With bated breath I await your return to blogging. [go]
[Rue] on 01/24/07 11:09 : With bated breath I await your return to blogging. [go]
[Rue] on 01/24/07 11:09 : With bated breath I await your return to blogging. [go]
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-- One of the Original Red Ensigns carried by the Penticton 1st Volunteers. It was present at Vimy Ridge when our little Dominion stood up and became a nation worth fighting for...