Real or not, it's a cool story...

I've added "she's a flight risk" to my blogroll. There's debate over whether or not this blog is real, whether she really is a young heiress on the run from her Michael Corleone-style father...Nonetheless it's an interesting read, and if it is a hoax it is a well-written one.

It poses an interesting question: Can someone on the run be able to reach the world without giving away their location to those that hunt them? Be they jealous ex's, the mafia (sorry, there is no mafia...), or the state- wouldn't there be a way for the hunters to find them even if those on the run were the most computer-savvy person on the planet?

Jinx part II

Who knew my curses could be so effective? The Vancouver Canucks certainly *choked* big time! And typically, before the game was even over, the so-called "fans" were streaming out the exits in typical Vancouver-style...

Darth Persnickety

is my Star Wars villain name

...yes, just wasting more time.

I warned you Canucks fans...

In this post I spelled out how I'm a jinx to hockey teams I support...

For a quite reasonable amount of money I was willing to spare your team from the wrath of my affections...

But you, my Western Canadian friends were too cheap to spare your darling Vancouver Canucks.

I checked my email, the comments to the post in question -- nothing. Not a nickel, dime; not even a penny for your "team."

Now this is all on your head. I tried to be reasonable, but you have forced me to make good on my threat, to seal the fate of this team.

With these words I now curse the Vancouver Canucks -

GO, CANUCKS, GO!

And before any of you point out that I'm a "bandwagon jumper" I'll retort that "bandwagon jumper" is the very definition of the Vancouver hockey fan.

Deny it. I dare you.

It's spelled "Colour"

Neutral:
Harmony and balance is key. You don't look at the
world in a negative or positive way and you'll
never judge or assume a situation- you just
look at the facts. People like you are peaceful
and accepting.


What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla


Accepting maybe.
Peaceful? I don't know...

In my neighbourhood...

A story out of my past. I don't know why I feel compelled to tell it now. It always disturbed me.

When I was 15 or 16 my parents started hanging out with another German couple: "Walther" and "Liesl." I don't know how they met- most times my parents met someone of the same ethnicity, it was usually at a deli or bakery that catered to the specialty German foods my mother liked (and that I have come to appreciate and try to find myself- it wasn't so before!) or someone overheard them talking and noticed the accent or the language on those rare times my parents spoke to each other in German.

All I know is that Walther and Liesl started hanging around our house ALL THE TIME.

Walther was an 70-year old alcoholic. I know this because everytime he came over, the level of booze in the 40oz overproof Lamb's Navy Rum bottles would go down a good 3 to 4 inches and he was the only one drinking.

My parents didn't drink. However, every time we visited the U.S. my dad would make sure he picked up a 40oz of Lamb's Navy Rum at the duty-free shop. He'd been doing this for years and we had a good 7 or 8 bottles of this stuff in the pantry. Over the course of one summer Walther had wittled this down to 2 bottles remaining.

Liesl was a tall austere woman in her 60's with piercing blue eyes and a stern-face that didn't smile. She always wore long-sleeved blouses that ended at her wrists. I always found this strange; Kelowna in the summer was blazing hot and dry, like the blast of an oven in your face just before you stick the pizza in.

Come to think of it, most of the women in the neighbourhood wore the same thing. These were women in their 60s and 70s. (Kelowna IS the retirement capital of Canada.) She basically regarded me with thinly-veiled contempt as I usually spoke out of turn, didn't automatically accept my parents' ideas as gospel, didn't read my bible etc. Most Germans of that age group adhere to "seen, but not heard."

I didn't like her much either.

Baby #2

So my wife is getting closer and closer to delivering baby #2...

My facade of calm is now starting to slip.

I've always been a nuts 'n' bolts kind of thinker: A leads to B leads to C etc. - so I'm trying to devise plans to deal with work, potential new job(s), relief shifts for new Mommy to take care of my eldest little one (who at 18 months is now mobile, curious and exploring everything- including the dog's food. For the record: "mmmmmm, GOOD!" was her rating of Eukanuba dry kibble...)

What I guess I'm saying is that I'm a control freak that now has to deal with situations beyond my control. And my exitement level is spiralling...Who knows what kind of posts will stream out of my conciousness over the next few days and/or weeks...The only thing that I can do now is wait.

I'm a BAAAAAAADDDDD Boy!

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Well that was fun!

Greed and The Fat Book

I've been thinking about my past career as a stock broker lately, which spanned about seven months before I had an attack of conscience...

The key to success as a broker is having a "fat book." In other words, be the account manager of a small group of customers that have a big wad of cash. How big? The numbers kept going up while I talked to more brokers but the consensus was that a good broker with 5 years experience should have at least $25 million under management and the big-swinging dicks (big time producers) should have between $50-100 million under management.

That's why people who try to start an account with full-service brokers with less than $100,000 will get short shrift: they don't want to deal with you because you're penny-ante. An account of $100,000 should generate about $1,000 gross commission for the firm. The broker, if he's a producer will get less than half of that paid to him; the rest goes to the firm. That's if the broker's honest, and the majority are. If you've got less than $100K, you are not worth much to an honest broker.

Beware the broker that takes you on if you've got less than $100K. If he's honest, he's either new, desperate, or callous. Any of these people can lose your money much faster than a regular broker...

And I won't even talk about the dishonest ones...

For an honest broker, the saying should be "beware of clients who think they know more than you do..."

It's over - Go Home!

One of the fun things about any kind of city event is the entrepreneurial spirit with which the makers of crap sell their wares onto an unenlightened public.

I'm talking about this:



Because how else can you prove that you are a "true" fan unless you fly at least two of these things as you crawl down the highway during rush hour...

On my drive in to work this morning I counted 5 (FIVE!!) vehicles with these flags still attached. Last time I checked the Leafs ARE OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS: and were put out on April 22 - 10 days ago!

These people are as annoying as those home owners who are still lighting their Christmas lights in February. Spirit of Christmas, my ass! Try Spirit of Laziness!

Who makes all this useless garbage? I've been a firm believer in Capitalism all my life, but even I've got to ask why scarce resources should be devoted to the manufacture and sale of such craptastic merchandise...

People in this town will buy anything with a Leafs logo attached.