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Close to the middle of the year, as is done in most Universities, it was time to order "the jackets." The term swag wasn't in my vocabulary back then but this was one of the payoffs: the team jacket. Usually there was a subsidy from the council of about 25% of the cost of the jacket. The rest of the cost was paid by the council-members themselves. The subsidy was seen as a "thank you" for the work being done over the year.

David, resident stoner of the council, who looked more bored than I felt, piped up with the only motion he ever pushed hard: "I move that the PVRA council be subsidized for 100% of the costs of the jackets."

David had made a variety of such "joke" motions over the entire year:

- beer subsidies to those that consumed more than 3 cases of beer in a week
- enforcement of "attractiveness standards" for attendees at "social functions"
- council meetings should be held in swim-wear (female council members only)

But he seemed serious about this one. I thought that Liam as Council President would squash this motion as he had squashed David's other joke motions but he surprised me: he allowed this to go to a vote. I think he did this because he believed that everyone would vote no, as this would in effect be diverting money from the residence council to the council members: a clear conflict of interest. At 19 I already had a clear idea about what this was about and was now no longer bored. I also had to decide how I was going to vote. Sensing things were getting out of hand, Liam decided to delay the vote 'til the next week, with the motion tabled...

And the weirdest thing happened that week: I was actively lobbied by both sides to vote their way. This was something totally new in my experience...See, the cool guys who got the chicks were strongly behind the "yes" faction. The geeky, nit-picky guys (and ALL of the girls on council) were behind the "no" faction. So in that week, I got invited to the cool parties that week by the "yes" men and got sweet-talked by the council cutey Raquel (whose nick-name was "Rocky" - in that it was reputed that she liked it ROCK-HARD) who was campaigning for Liam on the "no" side.

I wanted the jacket, but I also felt uneasy about how things looked. I was broke and paying for the damn thing meant I'd have to drink eat cheap for awhile. So when the time of the vote came I did the only thing I could do with a clear concious: I abstained.

When the votes were finally counted there were 7 votes for, 6 votes against and 1 abstention. The motion carried and we got our jackets for free. Liam was visibly nervous now: there were residents accusing him of stealing. He asked if anyone wanted to change their vote. He was staring right at me. This was a breach of procedure and he knew it but he was screwed. He told me later that guys in his house threatened him with a hazing he'd never forget if it passed (and they delivered.)

Years later I was reminded of this incident when I watched Seinfeld, with Jerry's dad Morty being impeached from the council of del Boca Vista, phase II.

So what did I learn from all this:

1. If you can control the agenda and prevent stupid votes, you should. You shouldn't assume that you have the votes to defeat a motion.

2. Never assume that people are as honest as you are.

3. Never under-estimate the power of your own greed. I could've voted "no" but chose to abstain, hoping the "yes" side would prevail so I could get my free jacket without feeling guilty...

4. If you're playing both sides against the middle, don't be surprised when neither side likes you. I didn't get invited to any more cool parties because I didn't overtly support the "yes" men and council goddess Rocky didn't talk to me the whole year (OK goddess is over-stating things - she had a nice rack but a mouth that was WAAAAAYYY too wide for her face...) because I didn't vote "no"

5. Even if you didn't vote FOR something the rabble, mob, losers voters will still blame you because you are part of the government. People saw through my cute little ploy of "abstaining" and saw my own greed.

6. I would've done well in office...
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