No baby yet!

Well it's T+3 days and no second rugrat...

Today I suffered the worst allergy headache I've had this year. My head felt like it was three times the width of the door. Not even the pot of coffee I drank this morning (yes, I'm back on the stuff) could relieve the pressure behind my eyes. I don't even know what I'm allergic to, but from April to June of every year I'm beset with coughing, dry eyes and blinding headaches...

I drifted in and out of coherence at work; luckily my cubicle is buried deep in the administration department, where trolls be found...I wasn't bothered all day in my sensory deprivation chamber.

Princess Boo-Boo, our 19 month-old first-born and thus victim of our experimental parenting techniques has taken to singing at the highest volume possible. I felt my corneas beginning to shatter as she reached an impossibly high pitch and volume as I changed her. Soon she will start toilet-training and then this diaper thing will be history...

So my wife and I are having a conversation over dinner:

• Kraut: blah blah government, blah blah SARs, blah blah Toronto fucked fucked fucked.


• Kraut's wife: blah blah big, blah blah baby, blah blah cramps nausea get it out of me!!!


• Kraut: blah blah fuckin' job, blah blah BORING


• PRINCESS BOO-BOO:
  
  

  SHUTTUP!!



Silence.

Princess Boo-Boo goes back to disassembling the piece of pound cake she has been smearing all over her body as "food camouflage." The royal dog appreciates this...

Kraut and Kraut's wife look at each other.


• Kraut: Did you teach her that?


• Kraut's Wife: No. Did you?


• Kraut: No. And so begins the terrible twos, five months early...

And eighteen months later we get to go through it again with the second one, if he or she ever decides to show up. It's going to be the greatest thing ever all over again...

-- Well at least one of my entries has to be sappy/happy