Old

That's it. I'm now no longer relevant. I am over the hill.

It's been a fun 33 years but now I'm just going to give up, hitch my pants up to my armpits, move south, pretend it's not hot and start bitching non-stop about the lack of special privileges for old people (like me!)

It happened this morning.

I looked out the window and saw a dishevelled young man (that's the exact way my now over the hill brain described him: dishevelled young man - up to mischief no doubt!) walking across my front yard. I tried to think which high school is nearby - but there's only the private school down the road. They all wear uniforms. He couldn't possibly be from there.

He appeared to cut across the front yard and headed for the apartment building accross the street! He's one of the residents of the "projects" (as my wife calls the apartment buildings across the street) and the little bastard cut across my lawn as a shortcut. He disappeared into the doorway.

He's lucky I didn't see him earlier. I would've released the hounds. OK I would've released the hound who would've shown him who's boss by licking him to death. The nerve of some people!

Of course his parents are probably products of the "I'm OK, you're OK" bullshit touchy feely "rap with your kids" school of discipline. More concerned with his "wittle feewings" than with instilling a sense of respect into the snotty little bastard...

Still bothered by this, I look out the window across the street and notice the same snotty little bastard climbing through the snow in my neighbour's yard.

Cheeky little bastard! Where the hell's my phone!

-- And then I notice why he's trudging through the snow: he's reading the electrical meter on the side of the house!

Who the hell am I becoming? My father!?! Next thing you know I'll be driving the speed limit, whining about all the boy racers passing me in my minivan...

This can NOT be happening.