Smurfovik Collective Bombed!
Apparently the UN has produced a video showing the Smurf's getting bombed (no, not drunk! Bombed: as in planes dropping them, buildings burning etc.)Last week, on Belgian television, the UN children's agency premiered the first adult movie featuring the Smurfs. By "adult", I don't mean it was a blue movie. Only the characters were blue. But it was an adult movie in the sense that the Smurfs were massacred during an air strike on their village, until, in the final scene, only Baby Smurf is left, weeping alone surrounded by wall-to-wall Smurf corpses. It's the first Smurf snurf movie.
Mark Steyn comments here:
Oh, well. It's not clear from the Smurf carnage whether their village is a sovereign jurisdiction - the ultimate blue state - or whether they're merely some hapless minority within a multi-ethnic nation, the Kosovars to Elmo's Slobodan. But either way the warplanes come and blue body parts are exploding all over the village.
Good luck to Unicef and all. But I can't help thinking that, if you are that concerned for children in war zones, you might have done something closer to what real conflict is like in those places. In Rwanda, Sudan and a big chunk of west Africa, air strikes are few and far between. Instead, millions get hacked to death by machetes. Even on the very borders of Eutopia, hundreds of thousands died in the Balkans in mostly low-tech, non-state-of-the-art ways.
Good luck to Unicef and all. But I can't help thinking that, if you are that concerned for children in war zones, you might have done something closer to what real conflict is like in those places. In Rwanda, Sudan and a big chunk of west Africa, air strikes are few and far between. Instead, millions get hacked to death by machetes. Even on the very borders of Eutopia, hundreds of thousands died in the Balkans in mostly low-tech, non-state-of-the-art ways.
Chris Taylor celebrates the end of the Reign of Blue Terror:
Sadly, these efforts are a quarter-century too late. If only the Smurf advance had been halted before they (briefly) took over Saturday morning programming in the early Eighties. All guys wanted to watch was good, clean fighter-piloting, alien-destroying fun like Robotech and Voltron. What we got instead was a weekly Marxist morality tale dressed up as lame toy-commercial fodder. Innocent children were subjected to mind-numbing tales of the Smurfovik collective, packaged in a slightly different way each week, broadcast over and over and over again:
Some individualist smurf with unique skills (or a one-dimensional personality trait) would invariably get his ass into trouble via the free exercise of his talents/trait, and get captured by the evil wizard Gargamel. Sooner or later a couple of smurf buddies would come looking for him, discover his precarious situation, and then -- lacking any sort of their own initiative -- they'd take the problem to Papa "Uncle Joe" Smurf who would solve the problem through centralised planning and state-funded magic. Then Papa's sidekick Brainy "Trotsky" Smurf would lecture the offender on his failure to fully embrace dialectical smurfism, and he'd be banished to the gulag until next week. Unless one of Papa Smurf's cronies fell out of favour (dying mysteriously in bed due to a freak ice pick accident), whereby the offender was rehabilitated early.
Some individualist smurf with unique skills (or a one-dimensional personality trait) would invariably get his ass into trouble via the free exercise of his talents/trait, and get captured by the evil wizard Gargamel. Sooner or later a couple of smurf buddies would come looking for him, discover his precarious situation, and then -- lacking any sort of their own initiative -- they'd take the problem to Papa "Uncle Joe" Smurf who would solve the problem through centralised planning and state-funded magic. Then Papa's sidekick Brainy "Trotsky" Smurf would lecture the offender on his failure to fully embrace dialectical smurfism, and he'd be banished to the gulag until next week. Unless one of Papa Smurf's cronies fell out of favour (dying mysteriously in bed due to a freak ice pick accident), whereby the offender was rehabilitated early.
Again, the U.N. has stuck it's nose into children's programming, and brought back those vile Smurfs, whose programming pushed the anvil-dropping, dynamite 'sploding Bugs Bunny Road Runner show off of the local affiliate that was one of the few channels that would run decent Saturday morning cartoons (ie. not censored of the ol' ultra-violence).
The last time I noticed the U.N. sticking its nose in where it doesn't belong was the vile collectivist lecture Kofi Annan gives the Sesame Street gang about doing things the "U.N. Way":
I wonder if Kofi Annan's son would be skimming off the "Cookies for Trash" program set up to help all the innocent starving worms under President Oscar the Grouch's totalitarian thumb.
Before I start getting emails criticizing me for displaying shocking callousness towards victims of war and the very real suffering that results, note that I reserve all my venom for the Smurfs (not the innocent victims that they are supposed to be proxy for) the U.N., which has some of the most barbarous regimes running their so-called "human rights" committee, and has shown an over-whelming propensity for preserving the status quo above all else, and the superior smug attitude of those who would appropriate children's programming in an attempt to indoctrinate our young'uns in the "glories" of collectivist ideals.
And of course Mark Steyn's got it right: you know who the U.N. is directing this ad-campaign against.
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